By dimensions, he's talking about things like linguistic communication, living near one another, hobbies, interests, world views (political, religious, and others) and humour. You build those shared connections to brainstorm with by spending time together, Dunbar explains. And by nature some of those ties will become more than difficult to maintain (or will just be evidently lost) when there's more concrete distance between you lot and a friend.

"Shut friendships are one'due south 'shoulders to cry on,'" he says. "And one around the corner is more valuable than one 100 miles away."

That doesn't necessarily mean, nevertheless, that long-distance friendships can't work. Simply you're probably going to need to find some new strategies for staying close, rather than relying on what keeps you lot close with friends who live nearby. Hither are some tips:

1. Figure out what your friend needs from you

People are different. Personalities are different. And friendships are all different. When it comes to maintaining a long-distance friendship (where certain aspects of a relationship volition change), you lot're going to need to figure out the aspects that are the important ones that can't change.

Some friends are going to take it personally if you forget a birthday or anniversary. For some friends, an annual visit may become a lot farther than monthly phone dates. "Part of existence a friend is figuring out what that friend really needs from y'all," April Bleske-Rechek, PhD, Professor of Psychology at University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, tells NBC Amend.

2. Prepare parameters near how yous'll stay in bear upon

Once you figure out what each of you lot needs, make a plan most how you'll encounter those needs, Bleske-Rechek says. Maybe you decide driving time will be your time to catch-up on the phone, and information technology's OK if one of you needs to hang up before a natural pause in the conversation. If y'all take a ten-infinitesimal drive, you give each other the ten minutes because that works for both of y'all.

Some friends only don't accept time (or can't make time) to schedule hr-long phone dates considering of the combination of work, family and other personal responsibilities, adds Irene Levine, PhD, psychologist and writer of "Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend". "Both friends need to be sensitive to each other's needs and desires. The long-distance friendship may take another shape than information technology did [when it wasn't long-distance]."

3. Remind your friends that you recall about them

There's a lot to be said for the random, 3 p.m. text on a Wednesday to let a friend know you but drove past the java shop you lot both love and y'all miss her. Information technology lets your friend know you're thinking about him or her, Bleske-Rechek says. "I wish you were here. I wish I could spend some fourth dimension with you today."

iv. Remind your friends why they're special, and why their friendship is special to you lot

"Emphasize that person's unique assets and the way that they're not easily replaced for y'all," Bleske-Rechek says. Information technology'southward an affirmation of that person'southward value to you. We need information technology in romantic relationships, and we need it when information technology comes to platonic friendships, also, she says.

v. Talk almost the future

Evolutionary psychology research tells us that foreshadowing the hereafter (a fancy manner of proverb "talking about it") is an important function of what motivates us to put time and attempt into our relationships. If we await someone isn't going to be part of our hereafter, why waste your free energy maintaining ties?

We can apply that to friends who alive far abroad by talking near how you lot intend to continue that person in your life, Bleske-Rechek says. Talk about an event in the future y'all know you will both exist attending or wait forward to an upcoming milestone together ("I tin can't believe we'll both exist 50 by this fourth dimension adjacent year!"), she suggests. "It helps show you lot're committed to that friendship."

6. Pay attention to the details

Caring about the little things that matter to united states is part of what makes a friend a friend. And information technology's a lot easier to know what those lilliputian things are if you're close plenty to encounter them for yourself — your BFF tin't stand his new haircut or she's actually dreading an upcoming work retreat.

Brand an actress effort to remember those details when y'all practise talk well-nigh them on the telephone or virtually, so you can ask your friend about them the next time y'all antipodal. Fifty-fifty if it's fashion afterwards the fact, staying interested in the details shows that you care, Bleske-Rechek says.

7. Share things about yourself

"Intimacy in friendship is near people letting each other into their lives in a deep way," Hojjat says. What's "new" with y'all is nearly more than just the photos you posted on Instagram from your holiday last month. Talk nigh what you're struggling with. Talk about what yous're excited about. Talk about the things that are on your listen.

"Self-disclosure is an important aspect of intimacy in friendship," Hojjat says.

viii. Set aside fourth dimension to actually spend time together, too

Making time to go abroad together for a few days or spending a few days living with a friend who has moved abroad is a really good way to heave closeness again, Bleske-Rechek says.

If you visit a friend in their new environment you get to see they solar day-to-day routine. You go an intimate snapshot of that crazy lawn tennis game or what dinnertime at her business firm looks like, which makes subsequent phone cheque-ins and texts more meaningful. Both of you making time to go away together is valuable, also, Bleske-Rechek adds. You both go to leave other commitments behind and just focus on the friendship and things you love to do (exploring a new city, wine tasting, attending a yoga retreat, or what intrigues you).

9. Be at that place when it matters

Distance makes it more than costly to maintain a friendship, both in terms of time and money, merely part of what will permit yous to maintain that bail is knowing when it matters to testify upward (in person or virtually), and showing upwards, Hojjat says. "If it is important to your friend, it should be important to yous likewise."

MORE FROM Improve

  • How to make friends as an adult
  • The clandestine to stronger friendship: Try this to build better bonds
  • How to spot (and deal with) an energy vampire
  • Why we're and so obsessed with 'Friends', the condolement food of Tv

Desire more tips like these? NBC News Improve is obsessed with finding easier, healthier and smarter ways to live. Sign up for our newsletter and follow united states on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.